Awoken by the Holy Spirit: Learning the Truth about Homosexuality

While gays and lesbians might seem so lost, God's glory will be revealed to those who struggle with same-sex attraction and homosexuality, even if the only one praying for that change is their family and friends.

I should know, because I became a new creature in Jesus Christ on a bright summer day in 2008 the morning the Holy Spirit woke me up to the truth.

The Spirit's Leading

Lying in bed with my same-sex partner of five years, I was awoken to a prodding deep within my soul: "Get your Bible, and open it." I tossed and turned about, attempting to go back to sleep, but the spirit was relentless. "Brandon, you need to get up and get the Bible."

I stumbled out of bed in a stupor, grabbing the nearly pristine copy of the good book from my desk. While I had been raised in the Christian church, truth was I had spent less time thinking about God's will over my own in the years since coming out as a gay man.

My Mom, a devout Christian, had been pretty clear: She loved me very much, loved my partner, Eddie, but she wished I would consider what God's word said over the liberal Christian theology I had adopted. Scripture had been perverted by human hands, they said, and the words chosen to replace the original Greek and Hebrew text did not convey the same meaning as the "clobber" passages Christian churches used to condemn gays and lesbians.

But, instead of seeking first the kingdom of God, I chose instead the road to self-fulfillment. After all, being gay would make me happy, right?

"Brandon, turn to Romans 1," the Holy Spirit prompted. I turned rapidly, finding a familiar verse I'd heard used against homosexuality before, Romans 1:26-27 (NLT):

That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. ²⁷ And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

Nothing new. 'I've heard it all before', I though. But then, my eyes caught glimpse of something I'd never read before, something that would never had been revealed to me but by God's divine hand that morning.

The four verses which followed in Romans 1:28-31 were foreign to me, but reached to my core:

²⁸ Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. ²⁹ Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. ³⁰ They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. ³¹ They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy.

Emerging from the Pit of Dispair

I read Romans 1:28-31 several times, and felt the love of God poured out on me as He revealed the truth to my heart and my mind. The Holy Spirit whispered my name, "Brandon, you can tell false prophets and the integrity of their message by their fruit."

Since returning from a short stint living in Florida in 2003, I had been living a life that was not God's best, and in that moment it became clear; as John 10:10 reveals, the devil comes to steal, kill, destroy, and for five years I welcomed the enemy into my home by believing a false doctrine which said homosexuality can be reconciled with a faith life.

I had been involved in a relationship which had become so toxic and abusive that my self worth no longer matched what Jesus saw in me.

Steal. Kill. Destroy

I had stumbled into pornography, although thankfully not the point of addiction (Thank You, Jesus), and had wasted time and money in adult book stores. I had engaged in phone sex and other acts which eroded respect for myself.

Steal. Kill. Destroy.

I had put my Mom through a lot of hard talks and hard times, being overly emotional and lashing out as she wasn't supportive of gay marriage. I perverted scripture to prove to her she was wrong. "Love is NEVER wrong! Jesus' one commandment was to love one another. Homosexual love can't be sinful!" But, even the Devil knows scripture, as shown in Matthew 4:1-11.

I was once gay, but God!

And yet, God is merciful. He is patient with mankind, as Romans 2:4 reveals, awaiting us to accept His forgiveness, His salvation, His grace, His mercy and the promise of a life so much better than what the fleeting joy and satisfaction of sin can ever provide.

God was also merciful enough to give me a mother and a grandmother who engaged in intercessory prayer all those years for my safe return into God's hands. Even in the thick of my worse days, they loved me and planted seed in my life that only Christ's blood could harvest.

I am sure there were days they felt like giving up, but God showed up and showed out, making me a living testimony of answered prayer!

I never desired to abandon that lifestyle, as bad as it was for me and as poor in spirit and livelihood as it left me, but He made a promise he'd answer their prayers.

Today, I am free from the chains of bondage, the temptations of the old life grow weak, and I choose to live my life out loud for Jesus, to reach out to others with same-sex attraction and to engage the church to live out of love and not condemnation for gays and lesbians.

While we must be honest and confront head on, without fear, the truth--homosexuality is a sin--we can be sure the prayers for the lost are never lost on God and the love of Jesus we show through our own hands will manifest into salvation for millions of people who are seeking to fill a void I once carried.

A Prayer for the Lost and Their Family

Heavenly Father, I know your Word today will be sown on the good fertile soil of the hearts of those who read this and who believe it is possible that they or someone they love with same-sex attraction will be delivered from the grasp of the enemy. Lord, deliver them from their bondage, revealing your glory and awesome power as you did to me so many years ago, and let the Word grow in their hearts so they can live as a testimony of your power! The scripture says you gave your only son to die for our sins, what more wouldn't you give for those who trust in you? You forgive all our sins and heal our diseases. Homosexuality is a disease of the mind, replacing the truth you formed into us while still in our mother's womb into something that is far less than you had in mind for our lives. I pray you restore your will into the lost and bless them to be a blessing to others for the Kingdom of God.

I also pray a prayer of refreshing and peace which surpasses all understanding for the fathers, mothers, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and acquaintances of those praying for their loved one who struggles with homosexuality. Give them strength in the days where it seems their prayers are futile, for you proved to my own Mom that those thoughts could not be farther from the truth. Show up and show out in new ways in Your perfect time, protect them and their loved ones from harm, keep them from deadly disease resulting from their choices, and BIND THE ENEMY, loose his chains and in the name of Jesus, send them scattering off of my brothers and sisters!

We believe in your Word, that your Son Jesus Christ was sent to die for our sins at Calvary, that he was buried and rose from the dead three days later, and that we are NOW the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. We love you, Lord. Amen!

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